A talk of the town
I have personally encountered many incidents where I would be sitting with a bunch of people of my age group. Listening to them is always a pleasure. So it would be like a group discussion, just like the ones that happen when we apply for jobs. The only difference is the topics. In interviews, the topics may include globalization, global warming, international affairs, internal security, or job related topics. However, here, the topic can be anything, be it the flat nose of kim-jong-un or the long curly hair of the girl who passes by every morning with a bunch of books in her hands and wide glasses which makes her eyes even bigger. You can encounter intense debate about topics which are just trivia but yet so important.
Today I will be talking about one of such incidents. I was at my village, it was a summer with scorching heat. Nights were very short. Mornings and evenings didn't seem to exist. All we could see and feel was the bright sun and the reeling heat everywhere. People can be seen roaming here and there for water or shade. You could drink water or juice as much as you can, still you would be as thirsty as you were. Nobody could decide whether to wear clothes or not. You wear clothes, and they would be wet in no time. You don't wear the clothes and you would feel like sitting in a fire and your body burning in hell. Every pond in the village was full of people. We were taking baths at least 3-4 times a day. Condition was same for cattle and trees. Trees cannot speak but you can easily feel the thirst and pain they are going through. Imagine yourself in the month of july, standing day and night under the bright sun with no water at all. Our trick was to get a towel, soak it in water, and put it on ourselves until it dries, then repeat it. In case you are thinking about fans, water coolers or air conditioners, well they are useless if there is no electricity. And electricity in my village would come once in a blue moon. So the most preferable and desired destination was the mango orchard. The place would be full of big and dense mango trees and thus would provide shade all day, plus, if you are lucky, ripe and sweet mangoes as well. I said lucky, because mangoes are looted way before they would be ripe. And, since it was an orchard, you can feel constant breeze, though warm, passing all the time.
We were sitting in one such orchard on a tarpaulin. And because we all had nothing to do other than eating, sleeping or bathing, we started our debate, like we always do. This time, the topic was about a girl named Heena(name changed) of our village who eloped with a guy from another village. This recent development was being discussed all over the village. Everybody was talking about it. Apparently, It was a big deal for a girl with such rural background to fall in love, and then dare to elope. If it had happened in city, nobody would have cared, because it is considered common in cities. But it happened in village, and therefore it was a matter of intense debate. Heena was 21 years old, history graduate, well educated, and beautiful. The guy was an engineer, worked in a reputed MNC. People were worried, How can she fall in love at first place? People can't love in villages. Specially, girls. They can't. They will work at home, cook, help in household works, and study if she gets time after all this. They are not allowed to meet anyone other than their family members or close relatives. People even started raising questions about educating a girl. They were trying to prove how education can lead to this. It is very ironical, there are more goddesses than gods. We pray goddesses every day for our well being and safety. Our cultural and traditional history has always kept woman higher than men. Our religious teachings always held woman on a high position. We introduce our country as "mother INDIA". And we openly boast about it. But when it comes to real life, we are pathetic losers. We treat woman nothing more than a property. They questioned the morality of the girl, her family members, some even went on to curse her ancestors as well. Contrary to this, no one blamed the guy. Not a single questioned was raised about the guy, about his family members. The guy was involved in this as much as the girl was. They had an interesting theory to defend the guy. They said, these young and educated girls can easily fool such innocent guys. I was dumbstruck after listening this. So an engineer, a well educated and professional man, got fooled by a girl, and went on to elope? What a ridiculous thing to say!!
After listening to all that. I couldn't sleep at night. Thoughts started troubling my mind. Why mindset of people are like this? Why women are considered inferior to men? Why men are never blamed for the mistakes? Why women are considered a property? Why can't women choose their partners? Why can't women take decisions of their lives by themselves instead of getting dictated by others? Why are youth of this country forced to take such extreme decisions? Why are there so many cases of harassment and sexual exploitation in courts? Why men is to women ratio is one of the worst in our country? Why infanticide is still a reality in our country? Why always sons are supposed to lead the family? Why there is such a shortfall of women in almost every major organisations in our country? Why after 73 years of independence, the future of women in this country still looks dim? Why the mentality of people is so narrow minded?
I tried to find answers to these questions. But, I couldn't find much. I tried to blame the administration, education system, political leaderships, poverty, lack of resources, etc. But are these things really the reason for such abject mentality of the people? Or is there something more? Answers to these questions are still a mystery to me. May be you guys can help me find it, and if possible, try and bring a change to this ailing mindset.
Today I will be talking about one of such incidents. I was at my village, it was a summer with scorching heat. Nights were very short. Mornings and evenings didn't seem to exist. All we could see and feel was the bright sun and the reeling heat everywhere. People can be seen roaming here and there for water or shade. You could drink water or juice as much as you can, still you would be as thirsty as you were. Nobody could decide whether to wear clothes or not. You wear clothes, and they would be wet in no time. You don't wear the clothes and you would feel like sitting in a fire and your body burning in hell. Every pond in the village was full of people. We were taking baths at least 3-4 times a day. Condition was same for cattle and trees. Trees cannot speak but you can easily feel the thirst and pain they are going through. Imagine yourself in the month of july, standing day and night under the bright sun with no water at all. Our trick was to get a towel, soak it in water, and put it on ourselves until it dries, then repeat it. In case you are thinking about fans, water coolers or air conditioners, well they are useless if there is no electricity. And electricity in my village would come once in a blue moon. So the most preferable and desired destination was the mango orchard. The place would be full of big and dense mango trees and thus would provide shade all day, plus, if you are lucky, ripe and sweet mangoes as well. I said lucky, because mangoes are looted way before they would be ripe. And, since it was an orchard, you can feel constant breeze, though warm, passing all the time.
We were sitting in one such orchard on a tarpaulin. And because we all had nothing to do other than eating, sleeping or bathing, we started our debate, like we always do. This time, the topic was about a girl named Heena(name changed) of our village who eloped with a guy from another village. This recent development was being discussed all over the village. Everybody was talking about it. Apparently, It was a big deal for a girl with such rural background to fall in love, and then dare to elope. If it had happened in city, nobody would have cared, because it is considered common in cities. But it happened in village, and therefore it was a matter of intense debate. Heena was 21 years old, history graduate, well educated, and beautiful. The guy was an engineer, worked in a reputed MNC. People were worried, How can she fall in love at first place? People can't love in villages. Specially, girls. They can't. They will work at home, cook, help in household works, and study if she gets time after all this. They are not allowed to meet anyone other than their family members or close relatives. People even started raising questions about educating a girl. They were trying to prove how education can lead to this. It is very ironical, there are more goddesses than gods. We pray goddesses every day for our well being and safety. Our cultural and traditional history has always kept woman higher than men. Our religious teachings always held woman on a high position. We introduce our country as "mother INDIA". And we openly boast about it. But when it comes to real life, we are pathetic losers. We treat woman nothing more than a property. They questioned the morality of the girl, her family members, some even went on to curse her ancestors as well. Contrary to this, no one blamed the guy. Not a single questioned was raised about the guy, about his family members. The guy was involved in this as much as the girl was. They had an interesting theory to defend the guy. They said, these young and educated girls can easily fool such innocent guys. I was dumbstruck after listening this. So an engineer, a well educated and professional man, got fooled by a girl, and went on to elope? What a ridiculous thing to say!!
After listening to all that. I couldn't sleep at night. Thoughts started troubling my mind. Why mindset of people are like this? Why women are considered inferior to men? Why men are never blamed for the mistakes? Why women are considered a property? Why can't women choose their partners? Why can't women take decisions of their lives by themselves instead of getting dictated by others? Why are youth of this country forced to take such extreme decisions? Why are there so many cases of harassment and sexual exploitation in courts? Why men is to women ratio is one of the worst in our country? Why infanticide is still a reality in our country? Why always sons are supposed to lead the family? Why there is such a shortfall of women in almost every major organisations in our country? Why after 73 years of independence, the future of women in this country still looks dim? Why the mentality of people is so narrow minded?
I tried to find answers to these questions. But, I couldn't find much. I tried to blame the administration, education system, political leaderships, poverty, lack of resources, etc. But are these things really the reason for such abject mentality of the people? Or is there something more? Answers to these questions are still a mystery to me. May be you guys can help me find it, and if possible, try and bring a change to this ailing mindset.
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ReplyDeleteMay I add one more point to your interesting content.
ReplyDelete(Most of) People on this date still want a baby boy from a pregnant women but not a baby girl. Why?
Let me try..
ReplyDeleteCouples elope both in cities and villages as well, but the difference arises in the environment of the society after they get eloped.
The first question arises here that why are they taking the step to elope? That means their love is inacceptable by their family or society in both cities and towns which shows the same concept of the people to not to accept them which enforces them to do so.
This is somewhere bcoz they are more concerned about the society, their caste, their status, their relatives, the rumors, the insult, etc. Here the society can be blammed and why there are like so? Individuals make the society and each and every individual has a tendency to condemn others and they have created the society as such where any thing done by anyone can be considered the most miserable deed they have done inspite even it is not, which includes the right for women and men to choose there life partners in their own. They have made this concept wrong infront of everyone by their condemning tongue.
In the villages, first of all, the condemnation is more regarding the girls, which supresses them to take any step, thinking about their family which makes the act of eloping, rare. After taken place, then villagers start condemning and in that condemnation they just need to have a variety of points to tell and make the act more interesting and more fame gathering. This variety includes each and every points and makes the thing worse than what it has already been made and try to proof each and every right and powers for women to be wrong. And there, the men are considered to be an asset and everything is in favour with them because they will just bring money. As the women takes off money from their house in marriage which makes them a burden and brings money to their law's house in dowry. Here, poverty and lack of education can be blamed.
In the cities, the eloping couples are not so much concerned about their family, relatives, caste, rumors, insults, condemnation, etc as most of the people in cities are busy with their own work and problems. That is why, eloping is common in cities. Everybody is concerned about what is going on in their own family and all have their focus and dedication towards work, education, family, etc. Even if they donot accept the couple's that may be because of their status, richiness or thinking of the welfare of their own girl. The youth cannot compromise or understand their parents concern even if they think only of their child's welfare disregarding the society and status and everything. At that point of time, their love is everything for them which gives them the best option to elope. As result, the rate of failures of love marriages is higher than arrange marriages. The things which make everything about a women wrong is mostly credited to the condemning tongue of the people which creates a mindset. Otherwise India has enough facilities or rights in favour of women.